Ayanami's Memories
by sawitan3
Summary: a flashback in his last moments. yukinami-ish
1. Chapter 1

Flashback

"AYANAMI!" Teito's voice sounded so far away. He had just cut off his arm, in order to save Teito so he won't be eaten also by the void. He closed his eyes for a moment and then he saw Yukikaze's smiling face. His black hair blown by the wind, his black eyes seemed gentle and warm and loving. "_Ayanami…" _he said as he give him his hand. _"Heh… You're with me in the very end, huh? Yukikaze…" _he thought as he reached for his hand and closed his eyes, feeling his pitiful last moments.

As moments passed, a flashback strikes him. _"Prince! Prince Krowell! Wait for me!" said Yukikaze as he ran towards Ayanami. "Prince! I finally found you!" he said, gasping for air. "Who are you? Who is this 'Prince Krowell' are you talking about?" he replied coldly. "But… Isn't it you? Prince! I hear you got exiled from Raggs!"_

"_You must've mistaken me with someone else. I AM exiled from Raggs but my name isn't Krowell. I'm Ayanami." He said, turning his back on him. "Then…. Then, Ayanami-sama! Please let me come with you!"_

"…_Do as you wish.."_

Then, he remembered the time when the military found them. _"Ayanami-sama! Ayanami-sama! Please! Wake up! Don't sleep! Ayanami-sama!" Yukikaze screamed at him, as Ayanami wheezed in pain, unable to breathe properly. "What is the matter?" asked a man with white hair and red eyes, standing tall, towering them. "Please help! Ayanami-sama is sick and he can't recover with our circumstances! Please, whoever you are, please help him!" he said as tears fall unto Ayanami's face._

"_Very well then… I will help you, only if you help me also."_

"_Thank you! What can I do to help?"_

"_Both of you, become a Barsburg soldier.."_

"_Barsburg… But..!"_

"_Heh… It's just becoming… A soldier… No big deal… We can do… That…" he said before collapsing. "Ayanami-sama!" The next time he woke up, he was in a luxurious bed with Yukikaze sleeping soundly beside him, his hand holding onto his. Yukikaze's quiet features when sleeping seemed unnoticeably cute and calm. He felt his temperature go down. "He has been looking after you for 3 days straight with no sleep or food." Said a man who was sitting beside the bed they were in. Ayanami became cautious and glared at him._

"_No need to be cautious of me. Although that kind of reaction is good. My name is Miroku. Nice meeting you, Ayanami." He said, walking towards a door. "meet me in the dining room tomorrow morning. Ask Yukikaze to guide you there." And he closed the door._

He opened his eyes and darkness was just behind him. Once more, he closed his eyes to remember those days._ "AYANAMI-SAMA! Look out!" he said as he stood beside him, taking the sword with his body. Seeing the one person he truly cared for, at that time, die in front of his eyes stirred him up inside._ 'I wonder what Teito felt at that time when I took his only friends' life…' he thought.

As he opens his eyes once more, he saw Yukikaze in front of him, stretching out his hand for Ayanami to take. "This must be some kind of last moment illusion…" he muttered. _"No, Ayanami-sama… This is reality… I've come to take you back with me… Please, take my hand" _he said. Looking surprised for a moment, without hesitation, he took Yukikaze's transparent hand. Although it was like grasping air, it felt very warm, like Yukikaze's body temperature before he died. Ayanami smiled from the bottom of his heart and took it. Then, he vanished, to where Yukikaze is. To where he can say he is at 'home'.

"Because I love you, Ayanami-sama…"


	2. Chapter 2 (end)

"Aya-tan~" Hyuuga called him out of his blank mind. "What?" he said, giving him the cold shoulder. "hey~ come on… you were spacing out for a while there, that's rare!~" he said, grinning. "Yeah? So what?" he glared at him. " Is it NOT okay for me to space out once in a while?" the atmosphere inside the office became cold and heavy, and chills ran down Hyuuga's spine. "If you have no business with me, **GET OUT**." And with that, Hyuuga went away.

"_Krowell-sama! What are you doing?! You should be in there, dancing and talking to those people in the party! Why are you in your room's balcony?" Yukikaze said, entering his bedroom. "Nothing much." He said, ignoring the noises of people talking far below and soothing music that just made him want to puke. He was thinking, but his concentration was disturbed by Yukikaze barging in like that._

_The wind blew and Yukikaze stood beside him. "Krowell-sama… If you stay out here any longer, you'll catch a cold…" concern filled his eyes as he gazed at Krowell's distant-looking eyes. "It's okay. I'm strong, unlike you." He said, with a poker face, still looking far. His gaze, somehow, looked sad. "Krowell-sama… Don't worry, I'll be there for you, no matter where you are and what you do, I'll always assist you…" he said, trying to hug Krowell, but he hesitated and ended up holding his cold hands._

'_His hands are warm… I wonder if his whole body is the same…' he thought, glancing at Yukikaze's hand and body, then his face. His eyes seemed to look straight at him, embedding a slight smile into his memories. His lips were very tempting to kiss, even Krowell was tempted. "Come, prince, let us go back to the party." He tugged him hand along._

"_no." Krowell said in a cold manner. "I dislike parties. It tires me out." He looked away. Confused, Yukikaze asked, "Which part tires you out?"_

"_The dance part. I dislike it the most." Hearing that, Yukikaze decides to tease him a little. "Is it that you have no stamina? Or is it that you're actually bad at dancing?" he snickered. "Why… You..!" Krowell tried to attack him, but he failed. Both of his hands were held firmly by him. Shaking himself free didn't do any good either. "Shall I teach you how to dance?" he smiled, pulling a frowning Krowell around his room. In the end, they danced in Krowell's bedroom._

_He was very clumsy on the steps part, which made it easier to get exhausted when dancing. "Prince, please follow my lead.. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3…" He instructed. Amazingly, Krowell followed him until he got a hang of it. His eyes widen as he finally understood the basics of dancing. "Prince, when you dance with someone, you have to look at the other party in the eyes…" he said, looking down on Krowell's white hair. When he turned to look at Yukikaze, they were close enough to kiss on a wrong step. Krowell, somehow, looked as if he pouted. "Why do you know more than I..?" he asked. Then, swifter than the wind, Yukikaze pushed him down gently on to his bed._

"_Is this part of the dance?" he asked nonchalantly. "No prince, but… May I..?" he said with pleading eyes that reflected Krowell. He was looking at him with such gentleness. His hand travelled from his waist to his hips. "May you what? Why're you putting your hand there? What are you doing?" he asked with his usual poker face, but this time, with a bit of blush added into it. His hands slipped through his robes and then pants and finally, he started to stroke him gently. _

_As stubborn as he usually is, that night was an exception. He wasn't as stubborn as he usually is and they made love and became one, many times. The next day, Krowell couldn't stand up properly, so Yukikaze helped him move everywhere._

"Ayanami-sama!" Teito saluted at him. He glared at Teito, which made him confused and a bit scared. "I'm here to report!" he said with a renewed enthusiasm, ignoring his thoughts of Ayanami being scary. He went on with his report and then, left the room. At these times, when Ayanami did these things, Yukikaze would've been able to control him. Like that day…

"_Aya-tan~…. You shouldn't glare so much! People will get scared of you, you know? Smile, smile! Just like Yuki-chan there!" Hyuuga pointed at Yukikaze. "Hmph… Is there any need for me to smile here?" he replied coldly. "Now, now, Ayanami-sama… You shouldn't be so cold towards your subordinates… You'll lose trust, you know?" he said patting Ayanami's shoulder. "I don't care." Yukikaze then leaned to whisper into his ear. "What would you like to be tonight, Ayanami-sama?" he softly whispered. But Hyuuga heard that._

"_Mou…. You should be able to control yourself… saying those kinds of things in front of your own subordinate… Hey! Can I join too~? Please, Yuki-chan~?" he said with a visible pout on his face. "Well, that depends on what my Ayanami-sama wants." He said, grinning at Ayanami. "…I'd prefer it to be me and Yukikaze alone…" he said, looking at the documents closer so that they won't be able to see his blushing face._

"_As you wish, Ayanami-sama…" Yukikaze grinned even wider. It seemed that his plans worked just like the way he wanted. "Mou…. Stingy~! Yuki-chan~ Why? Aya-tan~..?" he whined with a puppy-face beneath his sunglasses. "If you want to complain, complete your work first." He said, glaring at Hyuuga. "sir, yes sir! See you later Aya-tan~!" he said, waving towards Ayanami. He closed the door._

"_You're such a meanie, Ayanami-sama…" Yukikaze said, placing his lips gently on Ayanami's. "It's not that bad… To be cold to others…" he said, opening his mouth and his tongue asking for him to open up too. Yukikaze let him in and they did a French kiss, until Hyuuga came back in, saying, "Aya-tan~ I've got news to deliver to you~!" in a cheerful tone. "Ara~? Did I interrupt you two~?"_

_That was the last night they could be together. The next day, preparations for the Raggs invasion started and then, Raggs war. Where he lost Yukikaze. His one and only, most precious Yukikaze._

'Such nostalgia doesn't have any meaning anymore…' he thought, when the door slammed open and Hyuuga came in, carrying Teito like a potato sack. "Aya-tan~" he said cheerfully. "Let me GO! LET ME GO, HYUUGA!" Teito rebelled on his shoulder. "Can I do him~?" he asked in such a cheerful tone, Ayanami got angry, again. "Aww… Aya-tan… did I interrupt you or something~?" he asked, putting on the same puppy-face as before. "Not allowed to." He said, standing up and grabbing Teito and entrapping him to his lap.

"You're so mean~ Aya-tan~! Just let me do him~! Just this once~..?"

"no"

"Aww… well then, I'll just go away, then, see you later, A. Y. A. T. A. N.~" he said, leaving the room. He also remembered the only time when he hugged Yukikaze like that.

"_Ayanami-sama… This is rare… For you to hug anyone like this…" Yukikaze said, holding Ayanami's embrace. "This is the first and the last time… Probably…" he said, leaning his head on Yukikaze's neck. "Well… I'm glad… That I'm the first person to be embraced by you like this… I really take up that 'special' place in your heart, don't I?" he chuckled. They shared that night's warmth together all night long, staying in that position until they both fell asleep._

"Umm… Ayanami-sama… Please let me go…" Teito said, struggling free. "No. stay this way for a while…" he reminisced those times once again and remembered how gentle Yukikaze was. You can say that he's the most gentle person he had ever met in his whole life…

**Ok… I'm on fire right now so it's really long! In my opinion, at least. Well then, see you all next time!**


End file.
